Carseat Shopping with Preschoolers- Britax Endeavours

As you know, I’ve been confined, a prisoner, if you will, on bed rest for the last month. For someone who LOVES baby things and happens to be pregnant…and in need of baby things…this was torture. So, one of my first stops on my first day of freedom was Buy Buy Baby to check out all that has changed since Bug was cooking in my belly. And, woah! It’s a LOT! One of my favorite things we checked out was the new Britax Endeavours infant carseat. This seat goes from 4-35lbs, which for a mama with a high risk of birthing a premie, this is great news!

 

Obviously, Bug exceeds the max weight limit! But he approves the comfort level!

With the steel anti-rebound bar, there is 30% less rebound in a front or rear crash.

Even Chuck could maneuver its user-friendly design.

“Baby” the cabbage patch doll appreciates the safety measures present both with or without a base. With latch or auto seatbelts, Baby is riding with exceedingly high safety standards.

Chuck really enjoyed learning about how she can help take care of her new baby sibling in this #1 safety-rated seat. Bug, on the other hand, enjoyed torturing his sister. What can I say, they were stoked to get out of the house, too! I dare you to watch to the end without laughing!

Carseat Shopping With Preschoolers- Video

 

*I was compensated to check out this rad seat. All children and their wackado behaviors are my own.

30 Days

Thirty days of confinement, rest, restrictions and caution. Thirty days of figuring out a new normal and a new sense of purpose. Thirty days to dwell in my thoughts and fears and hopes for this baby and our family.

I haven’t done them well. I don’t know how one does. Two young children who need every piece of me that I can’t physically give and one deep-rooted character of pride sitting in my heart; these have been my companions. I didn’t realize how dependent I am on being INdependent until this last month. Ladies from bible study asked 10 times before they finally TOLD me they were coming to clean my kitchen. A meal train that ended up being a literal lifeline for my family was set up without me signing off…and I am so, so glad. Several friends grocery shopped, played mom-taxi and entertained my minions…all just by DOING. Because, you see, if there is one thing us moms are great at, it’s LOOKING as if we have it all under control….even if that’s not logistically possible. So, I dedicate the last thirty days to those who just DO. Thank you.

Now, the next thirty days? Who knows?! I was tentatively released from strict bed rest! It turns out the complete placenta previa that was aggravated by a pretty large subchorionic hematoma just…moved. I mean, last week it was bad. Really, really “you’re gonna have a c-section if you don’t go into preterm labor before,” bad. And this week, God said, “move!” and it did! Even my high risk doctor was surprised at the level of progress. The hematoma is still there and relatively large, but without the concern of the previa, it’s not as big of an issue right now. I am still on “light duty,” but I am able to leave the house. I can take Chuck to our Classical Conversations community day without reprimand and I can resume our normal dance/Awana/mops routine. Most exciting to me….TARGET! I know, so basic, right? But really, Chip and Joanna have been waiting for me. I must go!

I am 18.5 weeks at this point and while spending so much time with my own thoughts, I began to count down to different milestones. The most pivotal of these to me is 24 weeks. Twenty four weeks…the point of viability. The placemarker in gestation where I will never hear the words “there’s nothing we can (will) do. Just go home and manage your expectations.” Those words still burn in my ears after our traumatic night in the ER in Vegas. So, 24 weeks comes, get this, on Dec. 24! My little minnow will be statistically “viable,” a saveable miracle on Christmas Eve. How’s that for divine?!

This Sunday, Bug turns three and I can’t help but remember these milestones with him. His pregnancy was easy, for the most part, until the end. When I was 18 weeks with him, we were camping out in the mountains near Kern river, roasting marshmallows, blissfully unaware of just how much could go wrong. And here we are with this one, thanking God for each day closer to viability. It’s that way with life in general, right? We go along whistling until someone bumps us…and then someone bigger, then maybe a car or truck and then the whole dad-gum train runs us flat over and we are like, “good grief! I get it now! Life isn’t promised. Each day is a complete and utter gift. I get it.”

So, on Sunday, we will celebrate another gift of a day with our baby (middle) boy and we will once again get on our knees to thank our Heavenly Father for all the days we’ve had, and hope to have, to bring glory to Him, raising our tribe, sewing seeds of grace and mercy and working so very hard on clipping those ties to pride. Grateful for days and the ways, He shows us gently (or sometimes not SO gently) the reflection of the parts of ourselves we need to give to Him. I do get it now.

 

Secondary Infertility and losses

Last summer, I decided to take a break from facebook. We had just experienced the heartbreak of our second miscarriage. The ridiculousness of political rants and petty complaints became a very unwelcomed distraction from processing our pain. Leaving was good for me. I learned to cling tighter to my Savior, instead of drowning my mind in constantly refreshing my feed. Brent and I worked through our raw hurt together, again, this second time, and came out on the other side stronger than ever.

Then, it happened again. And again. And again. And again. During this year hiatus, we have grasped to a tiny life, five different times, only to be shattered as it slipped away. That’s six in total. Six babies in heaven. I’m still jaw-dropped at those words. Our most recent beloved went to be with Jesus this month, almost a year to the day of his sibling.

I’ve been reminded over and over again that God put us on this earth to live in community, to glorify Him. His love is only reflected by ours. So, this village, the people who’ve brought coffee or embraced snot-drenched sobs on their shoulders…these are the Hands and Feet. These are the ones who, without always the right words, show with action, the cross. Thank you.

There’ve been other tragedies and joys and endless hours of news, both personal and public, through the last year. It’s documented in my heart, instead of my page. Our actions, and inactions, haven’t always been understood or appreciated by those around us, and that’s ok. Healing and grieving and growing are processes, undertaken in intimacy with Jesus. Everyone does it differently. But, all you who’ve suffered, too, know, I know. And I love, too.

My babies all have names. They’ve all been loved for every second of their existence. Every bit of their being was felt and cherished. They will be remembered at due dates and loss dates…even if I have to reference my “list,” because there are so many. What mother doesn’t remember her baby’s birthday? I’m trying.

So, I suppose the point of this is…well, I’m not really sure. Maybe to try to express courage? Or insight for those who’ve wondered? Or just to document some late night, wine-induced rambling from an aching mama-heart.

Chuck and Bug are our world. They perfectly stretch our parent wings and if they complete our family, we are joy- filled. But, we stand in utter confusion at God’s plans for our family. It’s a sense of paralysis. So, I humbly ask, for those who’ve walked through the fire of secondary infertility or recurrent losses, please reach out. I need some anecdotal hope, one way or the other.

And to my husband, thank you for being mine. Thank you for holding my hand so tightly when I’m crashing to the ground. Thank you for carrying the weight this year. You have. All of it. This life hurts, but it’s also full of sweet, sweet joys and I’m so glad you’re the one by my side for them.

 

MommyCrunch is due with baby #2! Essentials Giveaway!

October is a month full of ups and downs in the Crunchy house. We are touched by mourning as baby Blue’s due date comes and passes on the 14th without the warmth of her squishy little body to hold. But, at the same time we are filled with anticipation as we enter the final stretch before Bug makes his or her first appearance. October is also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, as well as my birthday month. Because all these things culminate in such a small stretch this 31 days, I decided to celebrate Blue’s short life and rejoice at Bug’s impending arrival with a giveaway. How better to make yourself happy than to make someone else’s day?! So, here it is…three products that I have grown to see as essentials with Chuck and now, I pass this knowledge to you. The list is obviously not exhaustive, but it is definitely a start!

Due With #2 Giveaway

 

Viva La Cloth diapers

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The “Buster” by Viva La Cloth is the perfect cloth solution for any newborn.

 Fitting 5-15+lbs, the Buster is our answer to the issue of babies outgrowing the absorbency of a mini one-size diaper before the diaper size itself.

• Super soft and durable double layer PUL – trim fitting style won’t overbulk your little one

• Modified All-In-One style diaper in five color choices – with a double opening full length pocket – speeds drying time and lets you customize the diaper’s absorbency level

• The entire diaper is lined in bamboo terry for extra absorbency 

• Sewn-in soaker starts you with alternating thirsty sandwiched layers of Bamboo Terry, Microfiber and Heavy Bamboo Fleece

• Stuff the full length pocket with a doubler or an insert for more absorbency as your older baby wets more – or for heavier wetting newborns too

• Crossover waist snap closure has snaps edge to edge to combat wing droop and 3 rise settings to fit even the tiniest of babies

• Machine wash warm or hot / tumble dry low or line dry

Winner will choose their color option.

Abbecote

abbecoté is a lifestyle Brand that inspires women to dress simply and comfortably while radiating Confidence, Dignity and Grace; even under pressure. We’ve created a Smart, Stylish, and Sophisticated apparel and accessories that allow women to establish their own signature look.  

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The abbewrap. Each piece can be Effortlessly worn in multiple ways; on its own, mixed and matched with other abbecoté styles, or with your existing wardrobe. This single item is easy to wear and flexible, adapting to your many activities, moods, and changes throughout your evolving life. Our abbewrap doesnt require much from you, but it gives a whole lot back! Wherever you go, whatever your mood; the abbewrap have got you covered!
MommyCrunch loves the abbewrap as a stylish wardrobe option for cover during nursing as well as an unexpected addition to keep mom and baby warm!
Winner will choose their color option.

Motherlove

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With Motherlove, you can depend on consistent quality products crafted only with the purest ingredients and certified organic herbs. Each of our formulas are time proven and backed with integrity and an intimate knowledge of herbal remedies.

The nipple cream is a life saver for moms with new little nurslings!

Prize package contents to be determined by Motherlove.

 

Win it! One lucky fan will win one of each of these. Use the Rafflecopter form below and GOOD LUCK!

ARV of entire raffle prize estimated at $110.

Disclosure: This giveaway is sponsored by Viva La Cloth, Abbecote and Motherlove. MommyCrunch & participating blogs are not responsible for prize fulfillment. This giveaway is not affiliated with Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest or Instagram. This giveaway will end October 26th. Giveaway is open to anyone in the US, 18+ & older. Winners will be posted via Rafflecopter. No purchase is necessary & void where prohibited by law! Have questions? Email caragayle82@gmail.com

a Rafflecopter giveaway

She wants another diaper genie? How rude!- And other comments on a second baby shower…

When we first found out we were pregnant with this little bug, we were understandably hesitant to show happiness, joy or even hopefulness, since just the month before we had lost Blue. But, slowly, as the months have gone by and the tiny heartbeat remains strong and the kicks come more regularly, the existence of this growing little nugget is cause for more and more excitement. We talk about names and plan our future adventures with a fourth family member in mind. It’s finally FUN!

Bug’s first headshot.

 

I am halfway through this pregnancy and with the 20th week comes the onslaught of many decisions, plans and, well, opinions! The latest question posed in my birth group (yes, I am one of those women who discusses things like breast tenderness and morning sickness with total strangers…SHOCKING, I know!) is “Would it be acceptable to have a baby shower for my second/third/fourth baby?”

Until this pregnancy, I never questioned it. Of course you should shower EVERY baby with love, attention and celebration because life is a miracle no matter which way you cut it. Heck, I have thrown a couple of subsequent child showers for friends myself! Had I performed some etiquette taboo?! For shame!

That is, of course, until I was faced with dissenting opinions by some of those people closest to me with the talk of a second shower for this baby. Apparently, “no one does that.” And, “it’s rude and seems like begging for gifts when you should already have everything from baby one.” And my favorite, “Why would you want to do another shower. Didn’t you get your fill of silly games the first time around?” Soooo…..

My first response was one of surprise because I simply didn’t know this position existed. And then I felt a bit defensive. Being a person who questions EVERYTHING, I wanted to know WHY no one does it, WHY it’s rude and WHY anyone WOULDN’T want to celebrate every additional child with which they are blessed.

What I have found is that just like many “etiquette” traditions that seem outdated and maybe even offensive, the “only have one baby shower EVER” argument is routed in old fashioned necessity. Back in an era when people were broke and popping kids out every year, it was seen as rude to expect other people who were just as broke and child-full as you to give you the necessary accouterments for every child YOU bore. Gifts that were given the first time around were often handmade and constructed to outlast 1, 2 or 5 kids. Very little was disposable and many things were handed down from sister to cousin to friend. There was no such thing as a sonogram to determine the gender of the growing little bundle of joy, so everything was created with neutrality in mind. Swings were made of wood instead of hot pink or Navy blue fabric making them perfectly acceptable for 4 kids of different sexes. Little boys wore dresses for crying out loud! Relatives and acquaintances alike brought food to the shower and for weeks after the birth of the baby and also helped out as a village with the older children to give mom the chance to bond with baby. In these ways, mother and baby were gifted and it was seen as a bit greedy to ask for more. In short, a “shower” was simply an outlet for a get-together of gift-giving.

This looks totally safe, right?
Girl or boy? You tell me.

And on that note, shouldn’t I still have everything from Chuck? I mean, she’ll only be almost 3 years older than this kid. Surely we have all the baby items to be handed down. Well, no. Actually, we pretty much have to buy everything except toys and clothes if this baby is a girl. We were in a really bad car accident when C was 10 months old and her carseat had to be “totaled out.” So, rather than replace it with another infant seat so close to her first birthday, we bought her big kid seat that she is still using. She is also still using her crib that has been converted into a toddler bed because I was trying to be so efficient with our purchase the first time around. In addition, she still uses her booster seat at the table because we never bought a high chair and her bouncer and swing were passed to friends and acquaintances who were in need. Every baby needs new diapers, wipes, burp cloths and toiletries since those obviously don’t pass from one child to another. So, no, we DON’T have everything if that is the argument against a shower. Every family has circumstances of which you may not be aware. Don’t be the judge. Instead, maybe ask “do you have everything you need?” That’s so helpful! And let’s be honest…nobody “needs” many of the gifts they receive at a shower anyway. Three diaper genies are given because people are thoughtful and love to celebrate a baby. Not because that is a number one necessity for kidlet!

Fast forward to today, 2014. Things are a bit different. Most people, including Hfoe and me, are perfectly capable of taking care of all the children we choose to have. My baby is not going to go naked if I don’t have a shower. My child will have a place to sleep and play and eat if nobody buys us a crib, a playmat or a highchair. In fact, I don’t want anyone to buy that stuff for us. I want to be self-sufficient. But, I also WANT to have a shower. It is NOT about the gifts. It is about celebrating this little life that Hfoe and I (and I suspect MANY of those who would be invited to a shower) have prayed so diligently for. It is about recognizing this baby is just as special as Chuck and just as wanted as baby Blue was. I want to talk and laugh and play silly games with those people who love this kid already in celebration of his or her BIRTH day. And isn’t that what a shower is today anyway? A pre-birthday party? I mean, why is it considered perfectly acceptable for people to throw a birthday party for each of their five children every year, but heaven forbid a second baby get a shower?!

I guess my point is this…in the old’n days, showers were for much needed gifts. Period. Today, showers are for celebration and eating good food and laughing at the joy on a new mom’s (or second-time mom’s) face when she feels that little one kick in a room full of her favorite people. Gifts are nice, but they aren’t the purpose. Gifts help, but they aren’t necessary. Gifts are fun, but they shouldn’t be a point of contention. If your focus is on the “rudeness” of ASKING for gifts, when in reality no gifts have been asked for, perhaps the person in the mirror is really the one with the skewed outlook. Give with a happy heart, but if you can’t, don’t. You will still be welcome at my party!