Her three cries

Last night was one of those nights that doesn’t really feel  like a night so much as one day merging into the next. I can’t remember what the clock said when she woke up the first time or what time we actually went to sleep for the last time before the dogs started their morning “we have to pee and we haven’t eaten in 12 hours” dance. It’s the season of sniffly noses and congested baby lungs and my beauty rest suffers for it. Her demeanor suffers from it, more.

Chuckles has three distinct cries in the night. Two of these “cries” I let her work through on her own. I say “cries” with quotes because an outsider might classify them as such, but to me these are her tentative mama meter tests. Because of the genius of modern technology and The First Years Home and Away Portable Video Monitor, I can now see exactly what her displays of each of these cries looks like!

Cry one is more of a whine. She stays laying down in bed, usually without even lifting her head. She kind of whimpers, maybe grunts (I’ve even heard a toot or two) and then generally she will roll over and go back to sleep. I think she uses this cry as kind of a “testing the waters” call out. She’s thinking, “Will they come? Is it worth it for me to exert the extra effort to INSURE they come. Ehh, I’m too tired from all the fighting bedtime I did earlier. Plus, this bed is cozy. Guess I will just go back to sleep.” This is the cry I pray for. This is where I am silently asking the good Lord to stop her every.single.night.

Then, there’s cry two. This second cry is definitely backed up by more alert energy. Generally she starts by sitting up in her bed. She calls out that she needs to “poop” (rarely does she actually need to poop….this tactic worked on the eager potty training mommy one too many times!) When Hfoe and I don’t come running at the mention of a potty break she will often start to get out of bed. This is another place where the monitor has come in handy. With its nifty two way call button, I can sometimes stop her in her tracks with a quick “C, get back in bed.” Although the novelty of the all-knowing mommy in the wall voice is starting to wear off on our too-smart girl, it was pretty awesome while it lasted! So, once she is out of bed this is where things can go one of two ways. Usually, realizing that it is still dark out and that SHE IS TIRED, she will collapse on the floor by the door. With her face pressed against the floor, trying to soak up under the door whatever her mama and papa are doing out in the living room, she will give out one or two last calls and then pack it in for the evening. On the floor. I hate it when she sleeps on the floor. I know, I know, she must be ok or she wouldn’t stay there, but it makes me uncomfortable just looking at her! I use to put a blanket down in front of her door in anticipation for this, but she would move it. I have no idea why. I have taken to dressing her in two layers so at least if she won’t stay under her covers and IN BED, she won’t catch pneumonia from the cold. Sometimes, though, it doesn’t end there.

Now, cry three. This is where my mama senses go on high alert. This is the cry that can wake me from a dead sleep. This is the cry that really means she needs me and she isn’t just ready to get up for the day or ready to play tea party at midnight. This is the cry meant just for me and her papa. This was the cry of last night. It breaks my heart to hear my little mini-me cry because she is sick or afraid or just so lonely that she needs a hug in the wee hours of the morning. Last night, cry three was interspersed between wheezy breaths and snotty sniffles. I scooped up my sicky and brought her to bed with me. Bad idea.

I learned over the summer that the days of Chuck sleeping with us are long over. She can’t. No, really, she can’t sleep when she is in bed with us for some reason. If I nurse her ALL NIGHT LONG she will eventually fall asleep, but then I can’t. So, nursing aside, she will just talk and fidget and roll over and over and over for hours! This was the scene last night until I tried to lay her back in her bed. Commence the whole cycle of cries over again. Aaah! Finally, I gave up. My coughing, teary-eyed nugget won. I picked her up and hugged her close as we headed back to mama’s bed. And I nursed her ALL NIGHT LONG. Or, rather, FOR 3.5 HOURS THAT WERE LEFT OF THE NIGHT. I got the least amount of sleep I have had in months and she didn’t fare much better. But, we made it. This day is almost over and even on little sleep, we survived.

I read a beautifully written post today about cherishing those “I need you mommy” moments instead of brushing them off only to be lost forever. I get it and I am trying to be better about not missing those little instances, but some nights it is all I can do to wash my face before bed, much less rock her for the 5th time. I need her to sleep. She needs to learn to love her sleepy time, too! I guess in the mean time it’s a good thing she has a few different cries to let me know how serious the “mommy I need you” situation is.

She is the most perfect, beautiful, sleepy little angel. And the world better watch out because soon she will be awake!


  1. I will pray for littlet Chuckles to feel better and for the Lord to restore you and give you sleep!!

  2. Thank you sweet sister! Praise, she is feeling better today! I have faith she will be back to 100% by the time we see you next week!!

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